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as i press the nuzzle of my gun to the back of your neck, you gasp softly & i turn you around. i'm staring you straight in the eyes. why? why do i look into those eyes that used to enthrall me, but now disgust me? i smile with pride & spit in your face. the way you cringe makes me giddy inside, a feeling i can only achieve when i slay my victims. you try to rip my Smith & Wesson out of my hands, but i jerk back & slap you HARD... you end up spinning until you fall to your knees in front of me. i say these three life-changing words quietly, but they ring in both of our minds as if i had screamed them. "open your mouth." you start to cry, whi

Impurity. the same feelings keep coming back & i can't make them go away i'm falling apart again at the seams you are full of mystery full of beauty you feel like glass to me i want to touch you but never fill you with impurity never destroy what was never mine... © Lauren 2001

Contract. i don't want to bring this up but remember the time you turned me down? i still can't get that out of my head and now it's as if i'm running on a treadmill of love, running and running but never getting anywhere. i know that if i had you by my side i could get rid of the bad things in my life and we could be happy together. but you loathe me in the way that bread loathes mold and i'm clinging to the idea that one day you'll be my wife exactly like the dust bunnies cling to your curtains that complete your middle class disaster cover up. let's just travel back in time to the time i almost died and no one knew what would happen. i'd