Contract.
i don't want to bring this up but remember the time you turned me down? i still can't get that out of my head and now it's as if i'm running on a treadmill of love, running and running but never getting anywhere. i know that if i had you by my side i could get rid of the bad things in my life and we could be happy together. but you loathe me in the way that bread loathes mold and i'm clinging to the idea that one day you'll be my wife exactly like the dust bunnies cling to your curtains that complete your middle class disaster cover up. let's just travel back in time to the time i almost died and no one knew what would happen. i'd like to see you send some flowers to my funeral. read me a poem. i know what's going to happen next but i don't want to admit that my skeletons are coming out of my closet and i have to face reality with a plastic smile and a fryer that won't fry because it's broken from the many cousins that threw tomatoes at it during dinner. don't tempt me to kiss you; i'd kiss you too hard and then we'd end up in bed doing something we'd regret and there would be a baby on the way don't tempt me to do something we'd both regret there would be a baby on the way i'd like to kiss you but you would slap me and that would be the end of this 3 year marriage, i mean, friendship. please break my fall i'm falling through the roof and the painters keep throwing their brushes at me as if i'm going to finish their job but i don't want to and i can't paint worth a damn because I'M not worth a damn to you otherwise we'd be married but that's not fair you say we're friends we're buddies amigos we're the best of friends and we can't break that contract, if we did we'd both end up in hell but i'm already there! so don't worry i'm crying enough for the both of us.

© Lauren